ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
