how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
