Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
