I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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