She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
