i wish starbucks made bloody marys
she smelled like a LAN party
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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