make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Randomize