it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
