we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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