i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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