its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
