thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
