Tell her she can't have a vagina
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
