Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
