Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
