Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
