Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
