We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
The cops high fived after they tackled you
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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