I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
