Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
