she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
