oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
