so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
