I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
