pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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