My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I have peed in a lot of sinks
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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