what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
