I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
