3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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