he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
These tits shall not be calmed
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
