That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
