Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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