Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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