he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
