I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
