Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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