If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
