I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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