Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
