Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
