Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
