u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
