DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
