im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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