addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
