we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
