that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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