Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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