They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
