He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
