I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
